January 15, 2014
Lane’s New Theme Song
“The Gift that Keeps on Giving”, that’s the wonder of the Weasel. For some reason he keeps hanging around when he should be riding the back of a garbage truck somewhere in nowhereland America!
Weasel
Coach Lane Kiffin
September 30, 2013
The Snake Oil Salesman
As I’m waking up this morning and preparing my thoughts on the Tennessee vs South Alabama Game, I open my computer to look over the scores, especially the late night score (being on the East Coast) that I didn’t bother to watch…. USC vs Arizona State. Much to my amazement, USC was the loser! Or were they?
What was even more surprising was the same page contained a headline saying that The Weasel was fired in the middle of the night via phone call by Pat Haden, Athletic Director of USC, while Kiffin was mid-flight with his team to Los Angeles. The headline was surreal yet horrendously entertaining given the irony of how Vol fans and the state of Tennessee learned about the bottle of snake oil they had purchased manufactured by Lane Kiffin, Inc. The immediate image of the late night press conference in Knoxville as Lane, standing alone in the hallway, gathered his thoughts before telling the press he was leaving Tennessee after only 8 months tenure to pursue his dream job of Head Coach at the University of Southern California. What was clearly a questionable choice of hire by Tennessee Athletic Director Mike Hamilton to start, quickly careened into a nightmare propelling the Tennessee program into the depths of the SEC bowel.
Kiffin’s start at Tennessee seemed to please a lot of the Vol faithful as the new Head Coach brought some much needed moxy to the Tennessee program quickly taking aim at SEC attention hog Urban Meyer with bold statements about cheating and upcoming Florida losses. Just like that kid in your class or a friend of yours with an annoying boyfriend, you quickly realize the more words coming from them are complete shit. Vol fans grew uneasy hearing lane state that Tennessee was going to be the “USC of the south”, umm…. sorry Lane but we’re TENNESSEE!! Rumblings of NCAA investigations began to swirl, text messages began to be sent, and soon we found Mr. Kiffin packing for his dream job in LA and SoCal hacks like Jim Rome saying “welcome to the party!”.
Keeping in mind that his Head Coaching job in the NFL with the Oakland Raiders ended in complete turmoil as both he and Al Davis exchanged plenty of parting jabs and accusations. Football fans in general had grown weary of old man Davis’ rants and raves regarding football so naturally his comments about Lane Kiffin largely fell on deaf ears. Obviously, with hindsight being a brilliant 20/20, the monday morning quarterback at Tennessee realized that Al Davis spoke the truth and that Lane Kiffin was not only a liar but a cheater and would put a stain on the Tennessee Football program that may never be cleaned away or fully fade after decades of wear.
What Tennessee fans thought would be a few years of “rebuilding” our program suddenly turned into, what would surely be, a decade of “rebuilding” as we enter into our 5th year since Phillip Fulmer’s firing and usher in our 3rd head coach with Butch Jones. All thanks to Mike Hamilton buying a jar of Lane Kiffin, Inc.’s Snake Oil. The Lane Kiffin experiment not only sent Mike Hamilton packing, as he was still under the spell of the snake oil, after hiring Derek Dooley from Louisiana Tech who was both AD and Head Coach and on Tennessee’s list at #54 of possible coaches, but ruined Tennessee’s reputation as one of the best coaching jobs in the country to have. Coach after Coach said no and went on to other venues.
But I digress….
Just like someone who enters into their 2nd year of being divorced, that person begins to experience clarity in their previous mistakes and typically becomes thankful that the bad marriage was finally over and they can get on with their lives in a positive and productive manner. While the entire process is damaging emotionally and long in tooth to heal, it is still a process that all football programs experience time and time again. Unfortunately we just can’t all be great all the time.
So I offer this to USC fans out there, those frustrated that Kiffin was hired, those frustrated with his job performance, and those upset regarding the manner in his ultimate demise, I would personally call Arizona State and thank them for being that friend, painful as it may be and your reluctance to listen to those voices, that had the balls to tell you that you married and con artist!
January 8, 2010
Lane Train Derails!
Knoxville, TN: I wanted to wait a little while before entering this in my journal so that I can allow plenty of time for the gut shot and betrayed feeling to leave and allow myself to be a bit more objective with the recent shocking change in Rocky Top. In what what a complete shock to Big Orange fans, just as fast and loud as Lane Kiffin road into town, he road out again 14 months later heading back home to Southern California and the “storied” program of USC. Along with Kiffin’s departure, so the rest of the coaching staff quickly unraveled. Ed Orgeron, it was learned, was already on a plane to Los Angeles and already on the phone call Tennessee recruits telling them to NOT attend the first day of school so that they could quickly and easily change their commitment from the University of Tennessee.
What this says about Kiffin, is that he is no where close to being a man of his word. Kiffin is nothing more than a traveling salesman, doing whatever he can and saying just the right things to position himself as the head football coach of USC. Problem is, now he’s attained that goal but left, in the wake, a severely hampered Tennessee program. The recruits are all scrambling, the Athletic Director is woozy from the shot, and Tennessee has been made to look like a less than desirable program in US College Football. The real problem was Kiffin was never the right hire for the Vols to begin with. He quickly made the Tennessee football program to be the Oakland Raiders of the SEC. Long on noise, short on results. Athletic Director Mike Hamilton got exactly what he deserved for hiring Kiffin. He hired a hooker and got his wallet stolen when she walked out the door.
What is worse is that it signals a changing of the times. We are now in a time where there is NO loyalty other than to who writes the bigger of the checks. Hopefully this serves as a lesson to Mike Hamilton to spend the necessary time it takes to find the right guy and right fit for the Tennessee football program. Not to rush into anything and find the person who trash talks the most or makes the biggest splash. Kiffin did get Tennessee back in the media but it later proved to be a bad thing.
Hopefully the future will show that Tennessee only went “slumming” for a year and quickly came to their senses and back to basics after getting duped by a classic scam artist.
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October 25, 2014
The Return of the Weasel
In what Vol fans knew would end up as a loss given recent history of the rivalry between Tennessee and Alabama, what made matters worse is that The Weasel was returning to Neyland Stadium. The one man that set our program back at least 7 years selling his snake oil to VolNation returned as the Offensive Coordinator of Alabama. Why Nick Saban hired him in the first place remains a mystery. The Weasel has failed at every level and every position he has had the luck to land. Since his hiring, he’s been more of a story about Alabama than Nick Saban which is laughable considering Nick’s love affair with the media. Every other shot all season of the Alabama side line was featuring the weasel and not the head coach.
The game started with an open flurry of Alabama scores sending VolNation into looking for the nearest exit. I myself had decided to leave at the half if the game got out of hand quickly. Justin Worley was out with a hurt shoulder and Nathan Peterman now looks like he’s never taken a snap. 3rd stringer and Butch Jones recruit Josh Dobbs got put into the game and suddenly the tide started to turn. The Vols began creeping back into the game but fell short of yet another meeting of these two long standing rivals. Obviously Nick Saban is one of the best coaches in college football but I’m looking forward to the day when he is lured away by the almighty dollar.
I guess The Weasel’s mom can breathe a sigh of relief that her son wasn’t lynched returning to Rocky Top. To be perfectly honest, it was probably cathartic with The Weasel’s return. VolNation needs to get passed its hatred of The Weasel. We will get back on top of the SEC some day and The Weasel will still probably be getting fired from yet another coaching position. While it was a nasty set back, it was one that will build more character for our storied program and hopefully wake up our AD and President that they can’t screw around with coaching hires….. Get the man that will get it done!
By The LakeVol Botch, Weasel No comments Tags: Alabama Crimson Tide, College Football, Knoxville, Knoxville Tennessee, Lane Kiffin, Nick Saban, Tennessee Volunteers